The ADD monster

Sometimes I think that if they had resource classes when I was in elementary school I would have been there for ADD. I am, let's say over 39, and still need coping skills to focus. I have good intentions, but I never finish what I start....guess that why the house is in disarray.

I really can't imagine being inside a child's mind that is truly ADD or ADHD and having to sit in a classroom all day. It must be like a jail. Imprisoned in a body with a mind that notices everything around you, but not being able to focus on any one thing. It's sad because so many of these children are the brighter kids. I have a great niece who is obviously ADD, and I watch her begin a project with all of the energy she has, but not long into it she is pulling at her hair, playing with her fingers, and has lost focus, not necessarily interest. It's not her fault.

I have friends with adult ADD, and it is hard for them to cope with it. If it were a matter of just not paying attention it would be a lot easier to handle. There is so much more to it than that. Just think, how many children are punished for that "not paying attention' when they are actually doing all they can in that department.

These kids need all the support at home that they can possibly receive to make learning important to them. Having parents that forget to sign reportcards, other papers that need returning to school, or show little or no interest in homework do not help matters. Unfortunately, this occurs with her, and I wonder if it doesn't worsen the effects of the ADD in general. I understand busy schedules, yes, I worked the whole time my daughter was in school, but I did return the necessary information back to school on time. I made sure I showed an interest in anything from school...large or small...so she would know that it was important.

I have mixed emotions and opinions about medicine for ADD, but with testing that includes a test booklet and a separate answer sheet that has to be bubbled beginning as early as third grade, well, sometimes it makes sense that one has to focus. I really don't know, I do know I wish I had a magic cure. There is nothing sadder than being in a classroom and watching some struggling just to focus on a task, especially when you know the intelligence and knowledge is there. Also, one has to consider what the constant avalanche of stimuli does to a child's view of him or herself. I know I don't like myself on days when I get nothing accomplished because I hopped from one thing to another because I thought I was getting lots done...just to end the day in worse shape than I started. I'm grown and it's still hard to see that happen. A child's frustration must be enormous.

Parents, please, focus on the importance of your child's education. If you don't, the teachers can't alone. Children look to parents for guidance and direction, so when papers or reports or an art project comes home, take an interest. It is in your child's best interest that they have a belief that learning is important, and that it is expected of them to learn...or do all they can to learn.

Share stories and opinions...this is a common problem among children.

Thoughts on new school year

After my last blog on preparing for school, I was listening to a program on the tele as I was working on a class website for a friend. They had a doctor discussing the anxiety factor that comes with the beginning of a new school year.

The doctor stated that parents were more prone to the anxiety than the children, but that this anxiety could easily affect the children and make them anxious, also. I think it was the Today Show.

It made extremely good sense. The doctor suggested that parents contain their stressing, since it is not good for adult or child. It's a part of life that is necessary. I was glad to hear that the majority of parents do enjoy the summer bonding with their children, and the percentage of parents that can't wait for their children to return to school was small. I know I always dreaded when my daughter had to return to school. The daily grind took away family time, and the dreaded school schedule was put into place once again. I do know that, if I had it to do over, I would have home schooled her at least until middle school.

They did discuss the fact, that for the first month or two, the schedule should be fairly rigid. If it becomes a burden, taking away from quality time, parents should ease up. I have to agree with that.

New school years are a part of life. Not all can or want to home school, and that is fine. But just don't stress over it and create stress for the children. For those that are glad to see their children away at school for six plus hours a day, I have my own opinion, just as I do for working parents that have no choice but still hate losing that family time. But I'm am sure the family time left is quality time.

For the children that are sent to school as soon as the doors open each morning, and then remain after for any and all after school programs that can last until 5 or 6 o'clock, I say that I am sorry your life is this way. That is a long time away from home and family.

I have digressed as usual, but parents don't let another new school year stress you, and talk with your child about anxiety he or she may be feeling.

My daughter is now twenty, so I don't go through that anymore. I do have a great niece starting first grade, and the schedule is so hard on my niece and her husband, as they both work full-time and hard hours. They also have a three month old son that adds to the daily scheduling confusion.

Love to all of the children and parents that are getting ready to tackle another school year. Leave me some thoughts!

School thoughts

For the first time in 28 years, I am not busy fixing a classroom or thinking about the first day of school or what the year will be like. I must admit that I have mixed emotions. I will miss the children, but I do look forward to not having a strict routine and doing schoolwork each night. Now, I was at the same school all of those years, so there are friends I am leaving, too. The school itself is important to me. It's an inner city school, high poverty, and in an area where the people just seem to stay, have kids, and send them to school there.

It was a hard school to work in because of the indifference of the parents. Many were who they were when they were in elementary school...not much self-growth, still with elementary attitudes of get even, I don't have to follow rules...school or society...it was a school community that you embraced and kept in your heart or had to get away from. I stayed because I thought that is where God wanted me. Yes, I taught kids, but I loved them, too. I cared about what they went through when not in school, and some had really hard lives. The teachers that I have seen retire from my old school, were caring, understanding, loving, and wanted to be there.

So with mixed emotions, I move on into another phase of my life. Getting my first State Retirement check today, was a happy time, and it made me feel more retired than I did. But my heart is still with the children.

Venting...deadbeats!

Were some people behind the door when good sense and good morale values were handed out? I do have to wonder. Always I have had little tolerance for deadbeats who whine about how their lives were so bad it made them the beings they are as adults. I don't want to sound mean or uncaring, but some situations (and people) just plain stink. I know people can be scarred from their childhood, I was. My birth-father left when I was two, and I never saw him. It was only six years ago that I found out he had recently died. Yes, I have wondered what I did to make him leave, but I had to accept the fact that I was only two and did nothing, he was just a deadbeat dad. Also, I know people go through much worse situations than I did. My husband was raised in a physical and emotional abusive family. He wanted to be different, and he is one of the best people you will ever meet!
I think the idea of deadbeats stayed on my mind since the incident at the gas pump (two blogs down). It made me think of a 25 year old guy, I can't call him a man, who is married and living with his girlfriend. Yes, I typed it correctly. He has a 6 year old daughter by the wife, and a 1 1/2 year old daughter by another girlfriend...and he lives with another??? Confusing, to say the least. This is where I get real confused about the morales, or lack of morales, that people have or don't have.
It simply leaves me in awe of how anyone could do be this way. It makes me mad that children are neglected because parents use any reason to excuse the fact that they are not living up to their moral obligations as parents and human beings. Poor, pitiful me, when I was young....does not release human beings from being human beings. I can rant for days, but I think I have explained this topic on my gripe list sufficiently and don't want to over do it.
Really friends, I simply do not understand some people. I have a strong need to understand situations...always have. I read and study to understand many things, but there is no literature to explain this one.
Now, I am having doubts. Do I just delete this or publish? Having a soft heart, I don't want to insult anyone, but then again, I don't think the kind of people I am talking about would understand that it's them I'm venting about!
Do I over analyze? Am I too harsh? I have had a hard time not hitting the delete button on this one. I would really love to know what you think!

Cost of gas...wow

I hate to talk about depressing subjects, but I filled my car up today. Well, $91.21
later, I paid and left the establishment. Yes, I admit, I drive an SUV gas hog but
it's paid for, and I hate to try and trade.

Well, while pumping gas, I noticed a small child pumping gas for his mom, I
guess she was his mom. He struggled to hold the nozzle steady. He was not
but maybe six, but he was giving it his all. Thank goodness his struggle was almost over when I began.

Evidently a man noticed his struggle and walked over to help. The alleged
mom gave the man a drop dead look and proceded to yell at the child to hurry the hell up (as if he could make the pump work faster). The poor man, who was probably in his 70's, look puzzled. Can you blame him? I felt sorry for the man and boy.

Anyway, the task was complete and the man put the gas cap on and the nozzle back for the child, who skipped back to the car. As his mom stuffed him in the two door car on her side, she smacked him and screamed "you are useless, I told you last time you don't need no help, boy."
I looked at the man, who looked at the "mom," who evidently noticed our expressions. She graciously gave us both middle finger jesture....I guess as a thank you for caring???

I honestly do not understand the world today and some of the people in it. Honestly, I was writing to complain about gas prices, but that was not important after remembering that little boy. Do you understand why some act as they do? Let me know...I am puzzled.

Blessings galore!!!

Can you imagine twins and three years later find out you're expecting sextuplets? Personally, I cannot. I guess I begin to question my faith in myself and God in having the strength to handle the emotions of the news, much less the reality of life after the birth. I have the utmost respect for Jon and Kate. They truly are a team in every sense of the word. Their faith in God to guide them strengthens their bond as husband and wife, and teammates. I admire their outlook on life, and the fact they are real enough to let us enter their home every week and enjoy their lives with them. I just began reading Multiple Blessings, and so far I am hooked!

To be honest with you and myself, I would probably be insane with twins, and the thought of six more would put me over the edge. I hate doing laundry now, and it's just my husband and me. The house would never get cleaned (duh, nothing new), and I'd probably lose a kid or two under mess lying around that never got put away. Man, six bottoms to change and six mouths to get food ready for...wow...can we say challenging?

Then, I think about entering the door and having six plus two running to give hugs and kisses, and I get that warm, fuzzy feeling. Telling six plus two goodnight, sweet dreams, and I love you, at night, oh, I just can't imagine! Love in the home can overpower so many obstacles, and their home is filled with more than enough for all.

Homeschooling the sextuplets for preschool is one of Kate's goals, and I have much respect for her and all the mom's that home school. It keeps the family closer than having kids in school six hours each day. So many wonderful moments can happen during the course of learning at home with mom or dad. The learning trips and opportunities that just arise at home are endless. After teaching in public schools for 28 years, I am an advocate of homeschooling...that is from parents really devoted to giving their children all they need. Also, I know all parents cannot home school, I didn't. I did stay totally involved in my daughter's education, as I feel all parents should do. But, I know that I missed quality time that cannot be replaced. Honey, I'm sorry, but parents do what they have to do.

I have read the blogs of homeschooling moms, and I send those moms my respect and gratitude for their efforts in creating future adults for our world. It's a hard job!!!

Home schooling moms, a huge shout out for all of you!!!

Family moments...some can be odd

My youngest niece graduated tonight from high school. Moments like this bring family together in a good way. Ours is definitely an interesting one. My brother's ex-wife, who has all but lived with his childhood friend for the past five years, joined us. Their oldest daughter went by and picked them up at their respective homes.

The guy she was dating was buried on Tuesday. It just felt normal. I have an amazing mother and daddy. They take everything in stride and would never embarrass anyone or make the feel ill at ease. Everyone loaded up in my mother's van and off they went.

Afterwards, my mom and dad were tired, and I needed to come home and let Princess inside because of the heat...there the three plus their two grandkids went out to eat.

I know people wonder about us, and it too amazes me at times. But I guess when it comes to a parent's love for their children, feelings are put aside and bad memories stored on a very high shelf.

Jon and Kate Plus 8

Tonight I found myself with some extra time, so I tuned to Jon and Kate Plus 8. In this episode, the entire family went on a ski trip. I can't imagine taking 8 children anywhere!

I do admire Jon and Kate. They expose their children to many places and activities than smaller families. Of course, some of the kids like skiing, some snowboarding, and some wanted nothing to do with it. The show was so cute. It always seems to make me smile, maybe because I can enjoy the fun and when I turn off the TV I don't have 8 children to take care of.

It has been fun to watch the different seasons of the show and watch them grow. The potty training episodes are a hoot!

It's good, wholesome fun to watch. Call me a prude, but I'm not interested in reality programs that put people together and from week to week who they are sleeping with is a surprise. That just doesn't interest me. Unfortunately, my third graders could tell me all about it....sad.

Well, I do enjoy watching them handle 8 children, but I'm glad I can "give them back" when the show ends....kind of like being a grandparent, I guess, don't know yet.

Odd bird, but a good one to have around....

My favorite children's book is Tacky the Penguin. His friends viewed him as different, and he truly was. They shunned him until he showed how being different was okay. Even though they had made fun of his singing and marching, he saved them from the penguin hunters.

We could all learn a lesson from Tacky. Helen Lester has written several other Tacky books, and they are all precious.

If you have children, read Tacky to them. They don't have to be young to enjoy the antics of the penguin clan. I've always loved penguins, and this book jumped into my heart.

www.helenlester.com/

A Miracle

Friday I witness a real miracle. I was present at the birth of my first great-nephew. He is the first boy born after my brother, so no, he doesn't have a chance of not being spoiled. I also have a 6 year old great-niece, and she is a joy to all.

We adopted our daughter, so the live birth experience was new to me. I was in total awe. After seeing how the female body is designed for giving birth and watching all things come together at exactly the right time, I do not see how God's existence could ever be questioned.

There are two events in my life I would not change for anything...the adoption of my daughter and witnessing Taylor's birth. Oh yes, I must include my wedding day.