For the first time in 28 years, I am not busy fixing a classroom or thinking about the first day of school or what the year will be like. I must admit that I have mixed emotions. I will miss the children, but I do look forward to not having a strict routine and doing schoolwork each night. Now, I was at the same school all of those years, so there are friends I am leaving, too. The school itself is important to me. It's an inner city school, high poverty, and in an area where the people just seem to stay, have kids, and send them to school there. It was a hard school to work in because of the indifference of the parents. Many were who they were when they were in elementary school...not much self-growth, still with elementary attitudes of get even, I don't have to follow rules...school or society...it was a school community that you embraced and kept in your heart or had to get away from. I stayed because I thought that is where God wanted me. Yes, I taught kids, but I loved them, too. I cared about what they went through when not in school, and some had really hard lives. The teachers that I have seen retire from my old school, were caring, understanding, loving, and wanted to be there.
So with mixed emotions, I move on into another phase of my life. Getting my first State Retirement check today, was a happy time, and it made me feel more retired than I did. But my heart is still with the children.
